Category: Growth

The House Is On Fire

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn be the change you want to see, Breaking Old Habits, Challenges, Change, Community, Equality, Finding Your Calling(s), Growth, Guilt, Make a Difference, Parenting, Personal Growth, Perspective, PoliticsLeave a comment

More than 400 years ago, people of color started being treated horrifically in the Americas by white men who gave no value to the lives of the indigenous people they devastated.  Here we are in the 21st century and we see the same behavior continues.  White men participating in and watching with no emotional regard to the fading life of a son-brother-father.  

How has this continued for so long?  How can a person look at another and not care what happens to that human being, as if that person is any different from their own mother, brother, best friend or child?  How have religious justifications carried on for millennia, proclaiming one group of people superior to another?  Religion at its heart proclaims love and kindness for all.  Does anyone truly believe Donald Trump was full of love and kindness for all his nation’s citizens as he had them pepper sprayed, then stepped in front of a church for a photo op with a Bible?

Photo by Adonyi Gábor on Pexels.com

The house is on fire with rage, bullets and blood,

with petty crimes harshly punished,

with innocent men locked up or killed.

The house is on fire with innocent children in wretched schools,

with angry boys toting guns to protect themselves because their fathers can’t from prison,

with mothers who work so hard only to be able to barely feed and shelter their families.

The house is on fire with politicians and preachers proclaiming what is right

with mansions cleaned by people who work harder and listen better

with laws and beliefs touted that grow and spread oppression.

 

The house is on fire with courage long overdue to take its stand, 

with voices too long silenced,

with hearts too long aching.

THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE AND IT WILL BURN UNTIL THINGS CHANGE

I am an ordinary human, a citizen, a woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend.  I didn’t really know where to begin to make changes.  Then I read a post on Medium written by someone who has long been deeply involved in making changes for decades.  Research has been done and there are lots of ways to improve things.  You can read findings and a well researched report about it here.  

What Am I doing to bring change?

My first career centered around positive communication and instilling in others a sense of self-worth.  In my current role, I have open conversations with my daughter about the fact that people have been hurt, even lost their lives.  Lots of people are angry.  Not everyone has been treated kindly, just because they look different.  Isn’t that sad.  We wrote a letter to the Floyd family.  She expressed wishing she could give Mr. Floyd a hug…and I wept.  I wept out of sorrow she can’t hug a man she knows was hurt/  I wept with hope for the world she will help shape.  With such sentiments, our world will find more love, less hatred. 

 Admittedly, I have felt very angry recently.  I have felt incredibly sad.  I have felt helpless at moments, and empowered at others.  I am shaping my approach.  I value and utilize my freedom to vote.  I continue to appreciate the freedom of press in our country and read and support and believe journalists. I read a variety of press to try to get a well-rounded picture.  I write my politicians and sign petitions.  I write stories to spread joy, peace and love.  I teach my children to see and treat everyone kindly and respect people’s differences.  I take deep breaths…a lot.  I read and listen to learn what I don’t yet know.  There is SO much.  I guess I already work for this cause, but there is clearly much more to be done.

I still need to reach out to my local leaders: starting with my mayor and Police Chief to learn what they are doing to be a part of solving this long engrained tragedy of racism. I need to hold them accountable for what they do or don’t do. I need to give them a chance to be transparent, thanked for what they are doing well, and honest about where there is room for growth.

We each have our own part to do.  One person can only do so much, and yet one person can do a lot. 

You don’t have to fix the whole world today. 

But do ask yourself, what am I doing?  Let’s all start with a deep breath.  

 But the Bear Came Back, A Picture Book Review

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Book Review, Children's Literature, COVID-19, Friendship, Growth, Kid's Lit, Parenting, Picture BookLeave a comment

Always wonderful, but especially perfect for this time in which many of us are missing the people usually around us, Tammy Sauer and Dan Taylor’s humorous and tender But the Bear Came Back touches home.  In Tammy Sauer’s laconic and lovely text, a boy grows increasingly perturbed by visits from an unwanted guest: Bear.  As Bear persistently returns, the boy’s frustration rises, as does the humor in this charming tale.  That is, until one day when Bear doesn’t come.  As the days pass (this book also packs in a lovely little lesson for kids on the days of the week), the boy comes to realize how much he misses his friend. butthbearcameback

Tammy Sauer’s powerful text empowers its reader to go after what you want.  It reminds you to be a little more kind and patient with those who bother you.  Dan Taylor’s colorful illustrations play up the humor that can lie in frustrating situations, while sensitively illuminating the broad spectrum of emotions this book touches on.

To enjoy a masterfully crafted book that may incite laughter, tears, and thoughtful conversation, make sure you read But the Bear Came Back.

Steady as an Oak

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Be Okay With Yourself, be the change you want to see, Challenges, COVID-19, Friendship, Gratitude, Grief, Growth, Make a Difference, Mindfulness, Patience, PerspectiveLeave a comment

The wind blows a lot right now.  Maybe it always does, but I’m noticing it more these days.  I think we all do as we stay home…or if we are some of the few who need to go out.  We feel it in different ways, but it is all around the world. Whirlwinds of economic upheaval push down the market so heavily that oil prices are getting a swirly.  Heavy gusts of unemployment abound. There are tornadoes of sickness and tragically death. And when this storm passes, we’ll have a world with trillions of dollars of debt from recovery efforts to try to dig out from.  

As these gusts pummel us right now, I watch a forest of oaks that tower behind my house handle the natural gusts on a daily basis.  They are strong, thick, tall creatures, many of whom have stood for decades. Each planted as individuals once, they now intermingle above and below earth, an incredibly interconnected community, much like our own human society.  Because of their strength, I’m always amazed they have the flexibility to wave in the wind, but they do –all the time.  

Trees’ ability to move with the breeze, to lean and move based on what comes, to occasionally shed leaves, fruit, or even branches from time to time, then grow up and out again, is what allows them to stand the tests of time.  We could learn a few lessons from them right now as we likely all have to make some adjustments. Maybe this year our bank accounts or investment portfolios (for those so fortunate to have either) won’t be as robust as last year.  Maybe this year we learn to be a little more grateful for food banks either through dependency on them or the chance to fill them more so we can ensure our neighbors can eat dinner too. 

Perhaps this year we learn to truly appreciate our sanitation workers and that they keep our homes and streets clean as they risk their health and safety.  Maybe it’s grocers, agriculture laborers picking our food, the drivers who deliver letters, gifts and produce all over the world.  20200410_091042

The wind never blows forever.  There will be times it lightens, times it even stops.  We already have and will continue to lose some magnificent humans, businesses, relationships and opportunities through this storm.  But it won’t ruin everything. Destruction forges a space for new growth. It lays a foundation of new strength.  

So sink your roots deep to connect with who and what truly sustains you.  Lift your hands to help and sustain others however you can. You are not alone in the current struggle.  Let this storm move what it will on the surface. When we make it through, we will recover and keep growing.

 

Biking is Easier

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Challenge Yourself, Change, Finding Your Calling(s), Growth, Live the Life You Want, Mindfulness, motherhood, Parenting, Perspective, Pregnancy, Self-awarenessLeave a comment

B2b_09-03-2019

Two weeks ago my family made a huge leap: we moved from rapidly sprawling Denver to a small town in Michigan.  We moved 1,200 miles with a confused dog, vomiting toddler, pregnant mama, coughing daddy, 2 cars, and 4 storage crates packed to the brim…one might say for fun.  It was a total quality of life move. Not easy, but in the grand scheme, a relatively smooth process (maybe minus the family illness and anxious dog) that has already opened doors in directions we have been wanting our life to move.

One example of this is that our new home backs up to a trail, something I really hoped we could find close proximity to since we love to hike and jog.  Let’s just be clear, I am not your skinny, super-fit, ultra productive type-A (i.e. seems to rock EVERYTHING) kind of woman. However, amazingly to me, this pregnancy has been far more comfortable than my first and my joints have felt pretty good jogging (something my soul strangely has always loved and longed for) in moderately small doses.  

So….

On a recent afternoon I found myself jogging uphill, in the midday sun, pushing a stroller (containing previously mentioned, adorable almost 2 yr old), leash in tow attached to my 50 lb meandering shepherd mix and I’m nearly 6 months pregnant.  A tall, lean, gentleman with white hair peeking out from under his helmet rolled by me in the opposite direction on his bike, smiled and said: 

“Biking is easier.”

Yes, he is right.  100%. Biking downhill, solo, is easier than jogging uphill while lugging your young family along.  But what’s the payoff?

I used to justify my overstressed life with thinking that essentially the harder I worked (at a miserable marriage, very low-paying career, volunteering to the point of having virtually nothing left for self-care) was well worth it.  True I learned a lot, grew to love many wonderful people, and had plenty of great experiences. But when I took a few huge steps to trade it all in, with each stride my life became tremendously happier and new wonderful opportunities, people and experiences took the place of a life that was too ponderous to allow the fruition of my dreams.

So sometimes…by all means, I’m a big fan of hopping on a bicycle and going for a relaxing ride.  There are absolutely times in life we need to do a little lighter work (I’ve been to spin class and mountain biking…cyclists, I am not down playing by any means what kind of workout you can get on a bike- this type of riding is a different metaphor).  But when I hear the internal beckoning to challenge myself and circumstances allow it, be it a move to a new home/place, a shift in career, or jogging uphill while very pregnant, I always find it rewarding when I accept the challenge.

So take a moment or a few to notice if you are speeding downhill, at a moderate flatline, or jogging uphill in various aspects of your life.  Does it feel like you belong where you are or is it time for something to change? Find where your heart calls you and just see if you don’t experience the joy of Being in the Flow.

 

Embrace the Closeness

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Embrace the Moment, Gratitude, Growth, Kindness, Love, Metacognition, Mindfulness, motherhood, Parenting, Patience, PerspectiveLeave a comment

This morning I awoke before dawn to my dog yelping in her sleep.  Sometimes she gets excited in her dreams. Inevitably, however, my nearly 9 month old daughter awoke as well. “Mamama” she called as she rustled in her crib.  I slid out of bed and walked the 3 feet to her crib. I picked her up, gently bounced and rocked her. She made playful airy noises through her lips, flipped her head back and forth trying to find the right position on my shoulder, looked up at me, then started to settle back into rest.

I returned her to her crib.

Immediately she rolled around.  “Mama” she called out again. I picked her up, told her it was “sleepy time” and this time offered to nurse.  She gladly latched on as we made our way to bed. She tried to convince me it was time to rise and make sweet googly eyes at each other.  I again encouraged “sleepy time” as I closed my eyes and eventually she dozed off again, unlatched and started to flail in a way that indicates “give me some space.”

Once again I returned her to her crib.  Once again she flipped over to her tummy, inch wormed forward to the edge of her crib, pulled up to stand and called out: “Muuuuuu.”20180614_063106(9)

Again I slid out of bed, picked up my precious baby girl and began to snuggle and swing her.  Her eyes closed, her body went sleepily soft, and as far as she was concerned, all was right in the world again.

One could say “that baby has got you wrapped around her fingers” and to some extent that is true.  But usually she does sleep well on her own. And on the sweet occasion when she just wants to be held, I turn to gratitude: for a child who trusts me, for someone who feels safe in my arms, and a loved one who requests a warm embrace.  In the grand scheme, these tender moments of closeness are rare.

20180307_074621I embrace the closeness and just smile.

Be Happy As You Are

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Be Okay With Yourself, Body Dysmorphia, Gratitude, Growth, Metacognition, Mindfulness, Perspective, Self-awarenessLeave a comment

bodydysmorphia

As a teenager I encountered a comic of a skinny girl looking in the mirror and seeing her reflexion looking rather walrus-like.  I could relate. I wasn’t skinny, but people’s feedback let me know I had some element of lacking self-perception. It was the best description of body dysmorphia I’ve encountered and something I have long struggled with.  Not to say I’m a twig like the woman we all kind of loathe on “This Is Us” who goes to Kate and Toby’s support group for people struggling with being overweight.

I do have a hard time seeing reality though.

An example: this weekend I was (needlessly) eyeing with dissatisfaction my slightly wrinkly belly, softened with stretch marks from my earth shatteringly wonderful new gift: the chance to be a mother.  I was harping on myself and hoping for change and feeling a bit on the -as I judged myself- “bigger than I am happy with” side.

Then I tried on a pair of capris I haven’t worn in nearly 2 years.  Pants that rarely fit around my derier before I had a baby and here they were saggy and oversized around my back side and legs.  They are size 0.

Now they aren’t loose around my waist, and it may be a larger than average size 0, but I fit into a tiny pair of pants and somehow still struggled to feel thin.

More importantly, I struggled to feel happy with myself.  

Houston, we have a problem.

So now the work…the ongoing process I have been working on for over 20 years.  It is not to self-condemn for being shallow and out of touch with reality (clearly there is some of that going on).  The work is to keep learning to love who I am.  I am healthy, strong, kind, a caring friend, mother to a wonderful little girl, married to my best friend (who happens to be one AWESOME guy), a lifelong learner, and I happen to have a soft tummy.  So what? It’s still strong and healthy. I have plenty of other features I love- inside and out.

Comparison can be a hard enemy to fight.  It can also be a helpful tool. The fact that clothes which were once too tight are now too loose gives me a point of reference and shows me what I don’t recognize without the comparison.  It reminds me my body is in about the best shape it ever has been, so my work of consistent exercise and ever-improving eating habits are paying off (don’t worry, I eat three full meals, plus little snacks on a daily basis).

I may never look in the mirror and see my physique as most people do, but there is so much more to each human than what meets the eye.

I don’t need to be perfect to be happy.

I can love myself and others…as the exquisitely beautiful, imperfect beings we all are.

This Too Shall Pass

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn #Metoo, Change, Equality, Growth, Moving forward, Optimism, Parenting, Patience, Perspective, Societal Shifts, Transition, Women's MarchLeave a comment

On a recent evening, as I was 4 minutes from finishing a choir rehearsal, I peeked down at my phone and noticed a text had come from my husband: “Please come home soon.  Thank u.”  I knew that meant something was awry with our baby girl.  So I scooped up my belongings and ran out, calling home the moment I left the building.

In a soft, near-whisper, my husband explained that our daughter had wailed at a volume, pitch and length he’d never heard.  Of course, just before I called, she finally fell asleep in his arms.  After a long day of work, he had spent his evening trying to soothe our daughter.  Dinner had been ordered, but when it arrived, he was concerned that if he moved the baby might wake and return to her previous state of distress, so he never answered the door.  I returned to my sweet, exhausted, hungry husband.

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It got me thinking of countless times in life when I felt worn to my wits end when relief finally arrived.  Sometimes I brought on the shift myself, sometimes I had no control over the situation, but the ancient Sufi wisdom seems pertinent in life so often: “this too shall pass away.” 

This weekend the 2nd Women’s March takes place all over the United States and the world.  After countless years of women being treated as second class citizens, a giant wave is rising that has united people to feel empowered to finally bring a new shift.  Voting rights were a start.  Laws about equal employment opportunities brought another new start.  #MeToo and the culture shift coming from it is not just visible, but tangible.  Even those with intellectual disabilities are getting to  tell their stories and finally be heard and believed.  All the world’s ills are not going to be fixed in one big sweep, but on a huge scale, it seems long-held cultural norms are  changing. womens-marcha-2018

With this in mind, I look down at my precious baby every day and feel optimistic about the world she will grow up in.  I remind myself to not worry about a hundred other good things I could, but choose to not do right now.  There have been and in the future will be plenty of opportunities to focus more heavily on my career and have a cleaner house.  The stage to nourish my baby from my own body, snuggle her for hours and cover her in hundreds of kisses is short lived, so I am taking full advantage.

I remind myself the time for countless hugs and kisses is limited, so too is the length of every melt down and other trying stage we encounter.  Each moment passes, the painful and the precious.  So I embrace the joy and take deep breaths with a mind focused on movement when times seem harder than I have the strength to get through.  And life goes on.

What is hard right now?  

How can you create movement through it?

What experiences do you want to truly embrace in your life right now?

thistooshallpass

 

Pregnancy’s Butterfly Effect

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Butterfly Effect, Friendship, Growth, Kindness, Live the Life You Want, Make a Difference, Mindfulness, motherhood, Parenting, Perspective, Pregnancy, Reaching Goals, Self-awareness, YogaLeave a comment

butterfly_release

“Let everything go.  Allow your worries, your thoughts, your anxieties to float away and for a few moments, just be here in this moment.”  How many times do we hear this yoga jargon in classes, especially the opening and while lying in Savasana?  I remember listening to similar cues in a class about a month ago and thinking, “I have a baby growing inside of me.  I am a mother now and no longer have the luxury of completely releasing because this little person is a part of me and my actions impact another now.

Long ago my mother started to teach me about how my actions had consequences that impacted other people, but growing a human inside and realizing -this body is not just attached on the outside of me with skin around it that attaches us, but truly growing in the center of my being- did my perspective take a huge shift in what parenting will entail.

As I began to think more and more about this idea that what I do can have significant impacts on another is certainly not a new concept, but it just brought up this idea with greater magnitude.

A few examples:

The substances I put in my body (food, drinks, and if I were to choose, other substances…you know, like gum) impacts my energy level, my moods, clarity of thought, lifespan, self-image and even health.  This can impact my productivity, relationships with others, and availability to work or engage.  How often do we think about these things as the fork covered with salad or the wonderful smelling donut is going in?  

colorful-salad

As you get dressed and prepped for your day, how often do you look in the mirror and ask: what do I want my appearance to say about the type of person I am and does this appearance communicate who I really am: be it confident, professional, warm and gentle, a lover of the earth, etc?

Do you set plans or goals for years, months, weeks, or each day that help you spend time being and becoming ever more who you really want to be in the grand scheme: whether this includes the types of relationships you invest in, service, professional, physical or educational pursuits?  Are you living in a way that truly makes you happy?

For this little window of pregnancy, I have the opportunity to be pulled into a vacuum of reminders that if I don’t eat frequently enough (or the right foods), it makes a more significant impact than  I realized – i.e. nausea, waking up in the middle of the night, random impulses to cry, etc.  This is preparation for remembering the importance of regularly feeding the little person who is about to come out and be a very significant part of my world for the rest of my life.

We don’t always have such blunt reminders in front of us that say: “Your actions directly and indirectly impact others!” But they do.  The words we speak and how we express them can be a pivot point in another’s day- and how many others can a grumpy or very cheerful person impact: from how they drive, to glances, to words they share with the people around them? dadreadtochild

Do you sit down to watch a tv show (that will inevitably suck you into at least 2 more) after work tonight or walk your dog who is already harassing you to get outside?  Do you tell your kids to go play so you can catch up on emails after dinner or spend a few minutes reading and maybe singing with them before the bedtime routine begins?  Do you check another gossip column online or call an old friend who has been on your mind lately?

We have so many choices every day and while we can’t see most of the consequences, we can remind ourselves that each choice makes a difference.  So even if your most recent decision wasn’t one of your best, you always have the next one to make more of the impact you want to share with the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Types of Friends Do You Value?

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Breaking Bad Habits, Friendship, Growth, Kindness, Mindfulness, Uncategorized1 Comment

When you look around your circle of friends, are they truly the type of people you want surrounding you?  Do they help you be ever-more the person you want to be?  Do they engage with the world in meaningful ways that you respect and admire?  Then as you look around, turn your glance inward: are you the kind of friend to yourself and others that you desire?

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship for several months now.  Initially a couple of finger-pointing-300x185interactions with people led me to think about who my true friends are and what I really value in them.  These experiences lit up a hyper-awareness and time of reflection as I’ve engaged with friends since then and tried to remember the image of a finger pointing out mean three are pointing back at me.  So it seems reasonable that any standard held for others must be one I uphold for myself.  Here is a chance to consider some of the traits you may seek in friends…

 

A Genuine Listener

listen dogTo be honest, this was the first trait that struck me as vital to being a true friend in my book.  Someone who listens without an agenda to teach me something or prove a point.  A listener who is open enough to consider where I’m coming from out of genuine care.  Thank you Kritika for showing me this.

 

Humor

Not everyone is blessed with the gift of being funny, and some may struggle to even mildly learn the skill.  I know I’ve always wanted to be funny, but let’s face it, we can’t all be great comedians.  At our wedding, my vows brought mostly a few sentimental tears while my husband had our guests rolling with laughter.  I get to appreciate that he brings something to the table with far greater potency than his counterpart.  

Another consideration is that some of us live more serious existences than others.  Do you tend to prefer conversations with complete sobriety, a sprinkling, splash or ongoing waves of humor?  Do you have friends who bring what you’re looking for?  And even if you aren’t that funny, do you show your appreciation of those who are?

 

Motivator or Empathizer

I have found that there tend to be very different types of listeners.  Commiserators and motivators at times are found in the same person, but more I often I think they are separate individuals.  Do you know who to call when you just want someone to hear you and say: “Wow, sorry, that sounds rough!” and someone else when you know you could use a little: “Dust yourself off and I’ll help you back up on the saddle.”?  

 

Honesty, Tact, and… What You Think Someone Wants to Hear

avocado-fat-jokeDo you prefer the friend who tells you there is something in your teeth at a dinner party or the comrade who tells you look exquisite no matter what?  In the honest framework, there is also tactful and then there is knit-picky or unable to let things go.  Some of us are gifted with more gentle ways of giving feedback than others.  Like humor, this can be a skill to learn, while for others it may come more naturally.

 

Acceptance

Do you know anyone who absolutely loves you -just the way you are?  Isn’t this why we love having dogs for pets? A dog will faithfully comfort, accompany and adore you no matter how your hair looks, what right or wrong thing you say, and will endlessly forgive you for showing up later than you planned.  While I’m all for healthy personal boundaries, there are people who for one reason or another put you on edge and then there are those who put you at ease because it feels like they truly accept you as the person you are.

Kindness

Is it just me, or is this the factor we (at least under stress) tend to struggle with the most around those for whom we have the deepest regard and the closest relationships- including ourselves?  When I started at one of my previous jobs, I walked into my office the first day to find a pearl of wisdom left on the whiteboard: 

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The Dalai Lama’s simple, poignant statement remained as a wonderful reminder all three years I taught at that school.

There are countless other points you can consider, from respect, to shared interests, to people you like learning with and from.  The bottom line: friendship is a choice.  You get to decide with whom you associate in your free time (even on social media), how you treat others and how you treat yourself.  So I hope you invest your precious time with the kinds of people you truly value and who value you.

 

Breaking  Cycles

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Breaking Bad Habits, Breaking Old Habits, Grief, Growth, Guilt, Loss, Make a Difference, Metacognition, Mindfulness, Moving forward, Parenting, Reaching Goals, Self-awareness, Yoga1 Comment

man-walking-circlesby-HikingArtist

Do you ever feel like you are walking in circles: coming back to the same scenarios, same challenges, over and over again?  I spent so many years really struggling with this.  I found myself frequently wondering why I continued to battle with self-acceptance, my weight, binge eating, and not pursuing much of what I really wanted to do with my life.

Is there something you want to change in your life and it feels like time?

I cycled for years, wondering what lessons were to be gained and why I couldn’t figure out what seemed to have such a simple solution.  Slowly, I began to build new pathways, take little steps to gradually change -one thing at a time.  I stopped losing my temper on people and started breathing slowly and holding my tongue, allowing my thoughts of frustration to come out from time to time in more tactful and calm/productive ways.  After being called out about how defensive I am (that was a painful, and important pill to swallow from one boss), I started to reflect in the moments when I wanted to jump up defensively, and began to notice how and when my ego threatened to prevent a learning opportunity.  I started to prepare healthy and small snacks when I knew I was coming up on a stressful season in which I knew I was prone to binge on unhealthy foods.  And when the moments arose that I felt the anxiety bringing on urges to return to old habits I wanted to break, I literally just sat for a minute or a few, took slow, deep breaths, at times closed my eyes, and refused to let myself run away- I told myself: “You can do this, keep going.”  

running away is in your head

What makes you want to run away?

I took more and smaller steps to accomplish daunting tasks.  I focused on congratulating myself A LOT for working through those hard moments.  I still do at times.  I found new rewards to feed my brain, my soul, and I focused on the joy of learning a new coping mechanism, becoming ever more of the person I wanted to be.  My focus shifted more from the momentary cravings to who and what I want to be is.

What is the life you WANT to live?  How does it look, feel, handle real challenges?

I recently spent time with a friend going through a hard time.  We talked about how we handle pain, family cycles or patterns and her worry about the long term effects of turning to what I would describe as escapism.  Today I was reminded of our conversation as I listened to Rachel Brathen, a.k.a. Yoga Girl’s latest podcast The Guilt of a New Mom  in which she opened up about a struggle and experiences of turning to escapism (food, shopping, alcohol, even yoga) in moments of extreme stress.  What made the podcast so valuable to me was her follow up realization that only when we allow ourselves to actually experience rather than run from our pain can we heal (it’s a beautiful confession and lesson I recommend listening to if you are a parent or have a tendency toward escapism).  

break the cycle

What can your cycles teach you?

As one who tends to embrace each moment, I often feel like life is so wonderful.  At moments of intense challenge, it can seem almost overwhelming and unending- no matter the length or brevity.    I don’t know that I will ever fully understand all the pain anyone suffers, but I feel the healing and comfort we gain through sharing what we survive, overcome, and our lessons along the way.  So I just want to add my voice to that of Rachel Brathen’s: when you are hurting, especially when you are really hurting, I hope you will allow the moment to pass without running from it.  You don’t need to push it aside or take it on with an agenda.  The pain may or may not ever fully go away, but those seemingly overwhelming moments shorten and their frequency decreases as you stop running and instead listen to the lessons in them.  You begin to free yourself from cycles of pain trying to teach you the same lesson over again.  

How can you  respond to discomfort a little differently today?