Category: Perspective

A Moment to Explore

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Community, Environment, Garden, Hiking, Meditation, Mindfulness, nature, Noticing, Perspective, QuietLeave a comment

EXPLORE

The world feels entirely off kilter for so many.  As jobs, schools, gathering places and now even laws and the ways they are enforced are in limbo, the natural world goes on as usual. Animals forage. Flowers blossom.  The sun keeps rising and setting. And really, as people we go on too.  Our moods and plans shift, but we still need to breath, eat, sleep, connect. We need something to do all day.

So here are some ways to escape or dive in, depending on your perspective.  A few explorations are human-centric, the majority focus on plants, weather and animals. This is an invitation to get outside, to get curious and NOTICE what’s around you.  These are mindful meditations in action.  Feel free to try one, or spend a whole month trying something new each day.   Anxiety, politics, work and bills will always be there.  No doubt they need attention.  But just for now, take a moment to leave them behind, get curious, and explore.

Take a New Turn

Go for a walk, jog, hike or bike ride.  Take just one new turn. Where does it lead?  Do you see any flowers, trees, people or homes you’ve never noticed?  Do you see things you always notice?  Why do you pay attention to them?  Why not the new weed growing beside your left foot? Or under your right one.  Is it clean or speckled with mud? Is it blooming, aromatic, or looking really parched? Can you relate today?  Do you feel calm or stressed and out of your comfort zone taking a new turn?  How far will you travel the new path?

Greet People

Try smiling at people as you pass. Wearing a mask?  Try waving.  Want to be really brave?  Verbally greet people (strangers and friends).  Then notice how you feel.  How fast is your heart beating?  Do you feel like smiling more?  Is it easy, tough, maybe awkward finding something to say to people?  Do you feel like doing it more or shying away from it?  How did you see others’ respond to your greeting?

Rain Walk

Take a walk or go outside in the rain: feel free to wear rain gear or get wet.  How does the earth look different than when it is dry?  Do you notice a difference in the sounds, smells or movement of plants and animals?  Who is outside and what are they doing?  How fast are they moving?  How fast are you moving?  What happens if you just stand still for 2 minutes?  

Garden Glance

Do you have a garden or see a garden?  Are there weeds in it?  How many plants?  What kinds?  Do they look messy, neat, pretty?  Are they large, medium sized, small, or as my daughter likes to say: “teeny tiny”?  What shapes are their leaves?  How about petals?  How many shades of green do you notice?  What other colors do you find?  Are you curious how any of the plants taste?  Maybe try a leaf, stem, or blossom (do check into whether they are poisonous first here’s a helpful start).

What else is there to explore outside today?

The House Is On Fire

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn be the change you want to see, Breaking Old Habits, Challenges, Change, Community, Equality, Finding Your Calling(s), Growth, Guilt, Make a Difference, Parenting, Personal Growth, Perspective, PoliticsLeave a comment

More than 400 years ago, people of color started being treated horrifically in the Americas by white men who gave no value to the lives of the indigenous people they devastated.  Here we are in the 21st century and we see the same behavior continues.  White men participating in and watching with no emotional regard to the fading life of a son-brother-father.  

How has this continued for so long?  How can a person look at another and not care what happens to that human being, as if that person is any different from their own mother, brother, best friend or child?  How have religious justifications carried on for millennia, proclaiming one group of people superior to another?  Religion at its heart proclaims love and kindness for all.  Does anyone truly believe Donald Trump was full of love and kindness for all his nation’s citizens as he had them pepper sprayed, then stepped in front of a church for a photo op with a Bible?

Photo by Adonyi Gábor on Pexels.com

The house is on fire with rage, bullets and blood,

with petty crimes harshly punished,

with innocent men locked up or killed.

The house is on fire with innocent children in wretched schools,

with angry boys toting guns to protect themselves because their fathers can’t from prison,

with mothers who work so hard only to be able to barely feed and shelter their families.

The house is on fire with politicians and preachers proclaiming what is right

with mansions cleaned by people who work harder and listen better

with laws and beliefs touted that grow and spread oppression.

 

The house is on fire with courage long overdue to take its stand, 

with voices too long silenced,

with hearts too long aching.

THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE AND IT WILL BURN UNTIL THINGS CHANGE

I am an ordinary human, a citizen, a woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend.  I didn’t really know where to begin to make changes.  Then I read a post on Medium written by someone who has long been deeply involved in making changes for decades.  Research has been done and there are lots of ways to improve things.  You can read findings and a well researched report about it here.  

What Am I doing to bring change?

My first career centered around positive communication and instilling in others a sense of self-worth.  In my current role, I have open conversations with my daughter about the fact that people have been hurt, even lost their lives.  Lots of people are angry.  Not everyone has been treated kindly, just because they look different.  Isn’t that sad.  We wrote a letter to the Floyd family.  She expressed wishing she could give Mr. Floyd a hug…and I wept.  I wept out of sorrow she can’t hug a man she knows was hurt/  I wept with hope for the world she will help shape.  With such sentiments, our world will find more love, less hatred. 

 Admittedly, I have felt very angry recently.  I have felt incredibly sad.  I have felt helpless at moments, and empowered at others.  I am shaping my approach.  I value and utilize my freedom to vote.  I continue to appreciate the freedom of press in our country and read and support and believe journalists. I read a variety of press to try to get a well-rounded picture.  I write my politicians and sign petitions.  I write stories to spread joy, peace and love.  I teach my children to see and treat everyone kindly and respect people’s differences.  I take deep breaths…a lot.  I read and listen to learn what I don’t yet know.  There is SO much.  I guess I already work for this cause, but there is clearly much more to be done.

I still need to reach out to my local leaders: starting with my mayor and Police Chief to learn what they are doing to be a part of solving this long engrained tragedy of racism. I need to hold them accountable for what they do or don’t do. I need to give them a chance to be transparent, thanked for what they are doing well, and honest about where there is room for growth.

We each have our own part to do.  One person can only do so much, and yet one person can do a lot. 

You don’t have to fix the whole world today. 

But do ask yourself, what am I doing?  Let’s all start with a deep breath.  

Steady as an Oak

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Be Okay With Yourself, be the change you want to see, Challenges, COVID-19, Friendship, Gratitude, Grief, Growth, Make a Difference, Mindfulness, Patience, PerspectiveLeave a comment

The wind blows a lot right now.  Maybe it always does, but I’m noticing it more these days.  I think we all do as we stay home…or if we are some of the few who need to go out.  We feel it in different ways, but it is all around the world. Whirlwinds of economic upheaval push down the market so heavily that oil prices are getting a swirly.  Heavy gusts of unemployment abound. There are tornadoes of sickness and tragically death. And when this storm passes, we’ll have a world with trillions of dollars of debt from recovery efforts to try to dig out from.  

As these gusts pummel us right now, I watch a forest of oaks that tower behind my house handle the natural gusts on a daily basis.  They are strong, thick, tall creatures, many of whom have stood for decades. Each planted as individuals once, they now intermingle above and below earth, an incredibly interconnected community, much like our own human society.  Because of their strength, I’m always amazed they have the flexibility to wave in the wind, but they do –all the time.  

Trees’ ability to move with the breeze, to lean and move based on what comes, to occasionally shed leaves, fruit, or even branches from time to time, then grow up and out again, is what allows them to stand the tests of time.  We could learn a few lessons from them right now as we likely all have to make some adjustments. Maybe this year our bank accounts or investment portfolios (for those so fortunate to have either) won’t be as robust as last year.  Maybe this year we learn to be a little more grateful for food banks either through dependency on them or the chance to fill them more so we can ensure our neighbors can eat dinner too. 

Perhaps this year we learn to truly appreciate our sanitation workers and that they keep our homes and streets clean as they risk their health and safety.  Maybe it’s grocers, agriculture laborers picking our food, the drivers who deliver letters, gifts and produce all over the world.  20200410_091042

The wind never blows forever.  There will be times it lightens, times it even stops.  We already have and will continue to lose some magnificent humans, businesses, relationships and opportunities through this storm.  But it won’t ruin everything. Destruction forges a space for new growth. It lays a foundation of new strength.  

So sink your roots deep to connect with who and what truly sustains you.  Lift your hands to help and sustain others however you can. You are not alone in the current struggle.  Let this storm move what it will on the surface. When we make it through, we will recover and keep growing.

 

A Moment for Appreciation

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Gratitude, Mindfulness, Parenting, Perspective1 Comment

Do you ever have moments when you pause to just revel in how wonderful something is?  Perhaps a supremely meaningful compliment from someone at work, the smile on your child’s face when she looks at you, or the refreshing shower you take after exercising?

This weekend I spent a fair amount of time savoring a particular element of my life I appreciate.  While life with chronic illness  is an ongoing challenge -for about 40% of the population- we’ve had a particularly rough span in our family the past 7 months.  Basically my husband just feels lousy all the time, sometimes more than others. 20191129_122509

In spite of it, he continues to be playful, loving and always kind.  He makes a concerted effort to support our daughters’ rapid development and budding interests.  Every night he popcorns a slew of jokes to keep me laughing until I tell him we have to stop laughing and get some sleep.  He pushes through the clouds that darken his view of life and keeps poking holes for those around him to see the sunshine, even when he struggles to see it himself.

I am in awe of his warmth in a very cold season and tremendously grateful for it.

These days I don’t carve out a lot of time for journaling what I’m grateful for.  However, in place of a formal blessing at our table, we hold hands every night to share what each of us feels grateful for.  Perhaps tonight I’ll tell my husband how grateful I am for him.

What are you grateful for today?  If it is someone, have you let them know?

Where Do You Focus Your Sights?

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Gratitude, Mindfulness, Perspective, Self-awareness, Terrorists1 Comment

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” 

Charles Dickens

Sometimes we have seasons of change, other times are more “things as usual.”  Just as life starts to settle, there often seems to be a wave that brings up an “opportunity for growth” as I like to call it, i.e. a challenge.   

The past few months have brought an interesting new wave of challenge into my life: terrorists- literally on my doorstep.  I have found it to be a teachable moment: I’m learning a lot about how to decide when and where I put my attention.  It has been a strange mix-up of my home being misidentified as the home of someone who has upset a host of terrorist groups.  They are trying to intimidate him by stalking and posting (online) suggestions of harming my family’s home (which they believe belongs to this disrupter).  

So what does one do when your home and family are threatened by terrorists?  Well, there are a lot of ways to go, but human nature is fight or flight.  My initial impulse is to sit in fear and self-pity.  What does that accomplish though?  I started to reflect on all the people who don’t just live in fear of intimidation but who live with frequent violence in their own homes, neighborhoods and towns.

I thought about people who are mistreated simply for the color of their skin.  Listening to recent stories of Jews being the targeted has made my heart ache for them with a newly heightened sense of empathy.  Then there are the millions of refugees and migrants who brave life-threatening journeys to escape extreme abuse and poverty.  

My current conclusion: overall, I have a really great life and a lot to feel grateful for.  Does the posed threat of my home burning down and losing my children sink in? Painfully so.  But then I remind myself: I still have healthy children, a loving marriage, a home, food and so much more to appreciate.  You never know how long things will last, so embrace them while you have them.

As you embark into the future, perhaps you’ll ask yourself with me:

What do I want to focus on: the light, the dark, or the whole picture?20191127_090456

And while I recommend taking a moment each day for a gratitude practice, if you are ever feeling sad, angry or fearful, that is an especially helpful time to take a few minutes to ponder:

What do I have to feel grateful for right now?

Biking is Easier

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Challenge Yourself, Change, Finding Your Calling(s), Growth, Live the Life You Want, Mindfulness, motherhood, Parenting, Perspective, Pregnancy, Self-awarenessLeave a comment

B2b_09-03-2019

Two weeks ago my family made a huge leap: we moved from rapidly sprawling Denver to a small town in Michigan.  We moved 1,200 miles with a confused dog, vomiting toddler, pregnant mama, coughing daddy, 2 cars, and 4 storage crates packed to the brim…one might say for fun.  It was a total quality of life move. Not easy, but in the grand scheme, a relatively smooth process (maybe minus the family illness and anxious dog) that has already opened doors in directions we have been wanting our life to move.

One example of this is that our new home backs up to a trail, something I really hoped we could find close proximity to since we love to hike and jog.  Let’s just be clear, I am not your skinny, super-fit, ultra productive type-A (i.e. seems to rock EVERYTHING) kind of woman. However, amazingly to me, this pregnancy has been far more comfortable than my first and my joints have felt pretty good jogging (something my soul strangely has always loved and longed for) in moderately small doses.  

So….

On a recent afternoon I found myself jogging uphill, in the midday sun, pushing a stroller (containing previously mentioned, adorable almost 2 yr old), leash in tow attached to my 50 lb meandering shepherd mix and I’m nearly 6 months pregnant.  A tall, lean, gentleman with white hair peeking out from under his helmet rolled by me in the opposite direction on his bike, smiled and said: 

“Biking is easier.”

Yes, he is right.  100%. Biking downhill, solo, is easier than jogging uphill while lugging your young family along.  But what’s the payoff?

I used to justify my overstressed life with thinking that essentially the harder I worked (at a miserable marriage, very low-paying career, volunteering to the point of having virtually nothing left for self-care) was well worth it.  True I learned a lot, grew to love many wonderful people, and had plenty of great experiences. But when I took a few huge steps to trade it all in, with each stride my life became tremendously happier and new wonderful opportunities, people and experiences took the place of a life that was too ponderous to allow the fruition of my dreams.

So sometimes…by all means, I’m a big fan of hopping on a bicycle and going for a relaxing ride.  There are absolutely times in life we need to do a little lighter work (I’ve been to spin class and mountain biking…cyclists, I am not down playing by any means what kind of workout you can get on a bike- this type of riding is a different metaphor).  But when I hear the internal beckoning to challenge myself and circumstances allow it, be it a move to a new home/place, a shift in career, or jogging uphill while very pregnant, I always find it rewarding when I accept the challenge.

So take a moment or a few to notice if you are speeding downhill, at a moderate flatline, or jogging uphill in various aspects of your life.  Does it feel like you belong where you are or is it time for something to change? Find where your heart calls you and just see if you don’t experience the joy of Being in the Flow.

 

Finding Common Ground

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn be the change you want to see, Common Ground, hope, Kindness, Make a Difference, motherhood, Parenting, Perspective, Politics, PregnancyLeave a comment

michigan-winter

On a recent trip to Michigan -where everyone dreams of vacationing mid-winter- my family found ourselves in a hotel pool joined only by another family with a few rambunctious little pollywogs of their own.  We quickly struck up a conversation and as we discussed new awakenings, somehow the father of the other family turned the conversation to the pro life-pro choice debate. He had strong feelings about the issue, as many people understandably do. It is literally a matter of life or death…at times for the mother-to-be, always for the growing little one inside her.  

Historically, I tend to stay quiet (or a long time ago, hotly debate) when people communicate strongly in a direction in which I lean differently.  But as I watch the political divide ever-increase in the United States, people literally choosing to rub shoulders as much as possible and even live in neighborhoods with predominantly those of like-minded views, I see dischord, fear, and even a lack of our leaders being able to reach across the aisle and find compromise.  As Brené Brown points out in Braving the Wilderness, the current culture is full of dehumanization based on ideological differences…when we still have so much in common.  So on this occasion, I spoke up.

I didn’t attack my fellow swimmer nor pretend to agree with him. I focused on how I love that we can see things entirely differently, but both of our reasonings were based on compassion.  One was looking with compassion focused on the right of any human to get every chance to live. The other was looking with compassion centered on quality of life for both parents and children.

we_are_all_in_this_together

There are so many ways to look at every issue.

No one formed an opinion with the intent to hurt others.  Both formed their opinions with a deep sense of compassion and care.

I omit my opinion on this topic today because this isn’t about me.  This is about us as humans finding common ground: with our neighbors, our relatives, our leaders, and those of different customs, religions, cultures and countries.  It is about seeing what we do have in common, what we share. This is a hope and plea that we see the light in everyone and remember as Mem Fox writes so aptly in Whoever You Are , we all smile, laugh, hurt and cry, share joys, love and pain.

handshake of the generations

I hope you find common ground in an unlikely place today.

Halloween Treats

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Halloween, Holiday, Live the Life You Want, Optimism, Perspective, Recipe2 Comments

So typically I utilize this platform to try to provide soul food with a deep message and provocative questions.  Admittedly, I love holidays though. One of my most treasured pieces of advice that I ever received came from a woman in her 90’s who I met one winter morning.  I asked her advice for a long happy life. She paused for a moment to ponder, then said:

“Celebrate Everything.”

So I do.  I find it makes life a lot more fun.  

Today, in honor of Halloween, I want to share my playful attempt to celebrate by participating in Susanna Leonard Hill’s Halloweensie Challenge   of writing a 100 word Halloween story.  It is a tribute to one of my favorite childhood activities of making popcorn balls with my mom.  Back then, we used corn syrup and orange food coloring. My recipe is ever morphing, the current one is a little more like the contents of this story.  Happy reading and Halloweening in whatever ways make you smile!

jack o lantern on grass
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Halloween Treat

By Dawn Shea

 

Halloween winds howled, leaves danced, Trina shivered.  “Time for something toasty!” She knew what must be done.

“Witches! Fetch the cauldron!” A pot was placed on the stove.

“Light the fire!” The stove was ignited.

“Pour in toads’ toes!” Soon popcorn kernels began to pop.

“Add werewolf mucous and crocodile bile!” Honey and peanut butter were cooked and combined.

“Mix the poison.  Shape it into rocks.”

“Now simmer goblin gruel.”

Smoke billowed. “Ahhh! Simmer, don’t scald!”

The pot was cleaned, gruel added again. The sweet scent of chocolate wafted.

“Dribble gruel over the rocks!”

“Witches!  Grab a stone!”

“Delicious!” 

Embrace the Closeness

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Embrace the Moment, Gratitude, Growth, Kindness, Love, Metacognition, Mindfulness, motherhood, Parenting, Patience, PerspectiveLeave a comment

This morning I awoke before dawn to my dog yelping in her sleep.  Sometimes she gets excited in her dreams. Inevitably, however, my nearly 9 month old daughter awoke as well. “Mamama” she called as she rustled in her crib.  I slid out of bed and walked the 3 feet to her crib. I picked her up, gently bounced and rocked her. She made playful airy noises through her lips, flipped her head back and forth trying to find the right position on my shoulder, looked up at me, then started to settle back into rest.

I returned her to her crib.

Immediately she rolled around.  “Mama” she called out again. I picked her up, told her it was “sleepy time” and this time offered to nurse.  She gladly latched on as we made our way to bed. She tried to convince me it was time to rise and make sweet googly eyes at each other.  I again encouraged “sleepy time” as I closed my eyes and eventually she dozed off again, unlatched and started to flail in a way that indicates “give me some space.”

Once again I returned her to her crib.  Once again she flipped over to her tummy, inch wormed forward to the edge of her crib, pulled up to stand and called out: “Muuuuuu.”20180614_063106(9)

Again I slid out of bed, picked up my precious baby girl and began to snuggle and swing her.  Her eyes closed, her body went sleepily soft, and as far as she was concerned, all was right in the world again.

One could say “that baby has got you wrapped around her fingers” and to some extent that is true.  But usually she does sleep well on her own. And on the sweet occasion when she just wants to be held, I turn to gratitude: for a child who trusts me, for someone who feels safe in my arms, and a loved one who requests a warm embrace.  In the grand scheme, these tender moments of closeness are rare.

20180307_074621I embrace the closeness and just smile.

Be Happy As You Are

On By itjustdawnedonmeagainIn Be Okay With Yourself, Body Dysmorphia, Gratitude, Growth, Metacognition, Mindfulness, Perspective, Self-awarenessLeave a comment

bodydysmorphia

As a teenager I encountered a comic of a skinny girl looking in the mirror and seeing her reflexion looking rather walrus-like.  I could relate. I wasn’t skinny, but people’s feedback let me know I had some element of lacking self-perception. It was the best description of body dysmorphia I’ve encountered and something I have long struggled with.  Not to say I’m a twig like the woman we all kind of loathe on “This Is Us” who goes to Kate and Toby’s support group for people struggling with being overweight.

I do have a hard time seeing reality though.

An example: this weekend I was (needlessly) eyeing with dissatisfaction my slightly wrinkly belly, softened with stretch marks from my earth shatteringly wonderful new gift: the chance to be a mother.  I was harping on myself and hoping for change and feeling a bit on the -as I judged myself- “bigger than I am happy with” side.

Then I tried on a pair of capris I haven’t worn in nearly 2 years.  Pants that rarely fit around my derier before I had a baby and here they were saggy and oversized around my back side and legs.  They are size 0.

Now they aren’t loose around my waist, and it may be a larger than average size 0, but I fit into a tiny pair of pants and somehow still struggled to feel thin.

More importantly, I struggled to feel happy with myself.  

Houston, we have a problem.

So now the work…the ongoing process I have been working on for over 20 years.  It is not to self-condemn for being shallow and out of touch with reality (clearly there is some of that going on).  The work is to keep learning to love who I am.  I am healthy, strong, kind, a caring friend, mother to a wonderful little girl, married to my best friend (who happens to be one AWESOME guy), a lifelong learner, and I happen to have a soft tummy.  So what? It’s still strong and healthy. I have plenty of other features I love- inside and out.

Comparison can be a hard enemy to fight.  It can also be a helpful tool. The fact that clothes which were once too tight are now too loose gives me a point of reference and shows me what I don’t recognize without the comparison.  It reminds me my body is in about the best shape it ever has been, so my work of consistent exercise and ever-improving eating habits are paying off (don’t worry, I eat three full meals, plus little snacks on a daily basis).

I may never look in the mirror and see my physique as most people do, but there is so much more to each human than what meets the eye.

I don’t need to be perfect to be happy.

I can love myself and others…as the exquisitely beautiful, imperfect beings we all are.